Bugs & Daffy Get a Job

Bugs & Daffy Get A Job is the 15th episode of The Looney Tunes Show.

Plot
Bugs decides that the time has come for he and Daffy to enter the workforce and they head out to secure gainful employment, but Daffy gets distracted and decides that he needs to improve his features with some plastic surgery.

Cast

 * The Tasmanian Devil appeared in the episode, but had no lines.

Quotes
Bugs: More sleep? I can't get any sleep because of your snoring. Daffy: What, I tried everything. Breathing strips, mouth-guards, eye patches, jock straps, self-tanner, canker-sore cream, and I still snore. Bugs: Really? Canker-sore cream didn't work? Daffy: What's the big deal? I snore. You brush your teeth. We all have our little quirks. Bugs: Daffy, you gotta see someone about your snoring. It's a problem. Daffy: Not a problem for me. I sleep great. Bugs: Well, it's a problem for me. And I know just how to fix it. Permanently. (While standing on the top of the building) Daffy: How is standing on the ledge of the high-rise building gonna fix my snoring? Bugs: Oh, right. Snoring. Bugs: What are you doing? Daffy: Recipes. Bugs: You don't cook. Daffy: Well, I don't have the time. But "7 Minute Meals." It's perfect for busy moms like me. Bugs: Okay. I'm gonna go visit Porky. Daffy: Fine, more salmon balls for me. This is taking forever. Where's the bathroom? Woman: Right down the hall. Oh, you need a key. Daffy: A key? To go to the bathroom? What, you don't trust me? You think I'm gonna steal your toilet? Pfft. What happened to this country? Bugs: (In deep voice) Porky, can I see you in my office? Porky: What'd I do? (Bugs back in normal voice as he laughs) Bugs. What are you doing here? Bugs: I was gonna push Daffy off the roof. (Porky is confused at what he said) Wow. Look at you. You got your own cubicle. A computer. (Porky gasps as Bugs types on the keyboard) Porky: Please, don't... Bugs: A phone. (Imitating Porky stammers) This is Porky Pig. (Porky stammers then gasps) Pencil sharpener. (Porky stammers) Tape dispenser. What a fun job. You must love working here. Porky: If by "love" you mean hate sitting in this soul-sucking cave counting every minute until the weekend and the dreading every minute. Then, yes, I love working here. (Bugs makes Porky's face with the pins) Bugs: Spitting image. (He checks on the other office) Oh, uh, who's works there. Porky: No one, it's empty. Bugs: Mmm-mm. Daffy: Why didn't you tell me I have a bump on my beak? Bugs: I never noticed a bump. Daffy: Do not patronize me. If there's something wrong with me, then you owe it to me, as my best friend, to tell me. Bugs: All right. You're narcissist. You're a sociopath. You're probably a psychopath. You're a... (Line was cut after the elevator door closes, lifts to the carpark then ding sound) You're paranoid, sexist, and you make fun of the elderly. Daffy: Those are just quirks. Endearing quirks. I'm talking about something important. My appearance. If you don't be honest with me, then I'll find someone who will. (He gives the toilet to Bugs) Here. Take this home for me. It's a really good toilet. (They walk out of the carpark) Daffy: I wanna look like this. (He shows him a "7 Minute Meals" ad) Dr. Wiseberg: This is the recipe for salmon balls. Daffy: Give me that. I don't have time for those. 7 minutes, they're out of their minds. I wanna look like this. (Then he shows a print ad about a woman) Dr. Whiseberg: First of all, that's a woman. Second of all, that's a nose. You have a beak. Daffy: You know, your bedside manner could use some work. (As Dr. Whiseberg was typing) Smaller. Smaller. Smaller. Dr. Wiseberg: Anything smaller would be too drastic a change. (Daffy thinks about what Dr. Wiseberg said) Daffy: The drastic-er. The better-er. (Chuckles) Dr. Wiseberg: Hmm. When do you wanna have it done? Daffy: Now (He slaps Dr. Wiseberg) I'm sorry. You have a very slappable face. Tina: I'm looking for my boyfriend. He's a little, black duck. Man: A duck? (Chuckles) Well, I wasn't sure what that was. We put him in the way back. (As she walks to the table in the far end, Daffy appears sitting on the table and covering his face) Tina: Kinda fancy for lunch. What's the occasion? (He puts the menu down and reveals his new looks to her) Daffy: I'm the occasion. (Tina, in shock, spits out the water after she saw his new beak) Tina: What happened to you?! Daffy: I got a beak job. Look, no bump. Tina: You messed up your whole face just to get rip of the stupid bump? You're look crazy. Daffy: If I'm look so crazy, how come everyone staring at me? (As Tina looks behind, everyone was staring at him) Tina: Because you're look crazy. Daffy, I like your old beak. Daffy: But my old beak have imperfection and when it came to my appearance, there could be no imperfection. Tina: Well, it looks like a dog ate your face. I liked your bump. I like all your imperfections. Well, not all of them. Your imperfections are make you, you. And I like you. Daffy: Ohh, I get it. You're jealous because I have this perfect little beak and you have that giant nightmare. (Tina punches Daffy and he thuds off-screen) Daffy: (groans) Call Dr. Wiseberg.
 * Daffy: You look terrible. You should get more sleep.
 * (Daffy was tearing some pages of magazine)
 * (While at Porky's office)
 * Bugs: Where'd you get that?
 * (While at Dr. Wiseberg's office)
 * (While at the restaurant as Tina walks inside)

Trivia

 * The music played when Bugs is singing his cheer about returning taxes to Porky is the beginning music of the song Mickey by Tony Brasil.
 * According to the title, the jobs Bugs and Daffy get are Murphey Assoctiates employee (Bugs) and a nose (in this case, beak) job (Daffy).